When I wrote this post, I did not necessarily have the intention of publishing it, but then I found out that September is pet memorial month so I took it as a sign to share. For context, I lost my beloved cat about a year ago, and not a day has gone by where I don’t feel as if a piece of my heart is missing. I find myself writing about her constantly as if somehow I can bring her back to life. This post is very personal to me but I am sharing in hopes that it can provide comfort and validation to anyone who might relate.
Playlist:
Whether it’s one lyric or the whole song, each of these songs (and many more but these ones come to mind first) help me feel a little closer to her:
- Eternal June, Emma Foley
- Big Star, Lorde
- Me & My Dog, boygenius
- chemtrails, Lizzy McAlpine
- A thousand years, Christina Perrie
- At the Beach, In Every Life, Gigi Perez
- marjorie, Taylor Swift
- waiting, Cassidy Forras
Poem: The Loss/Love that Never Leaves
The knife is stuck in my chest.
It doesn’t lie
it doesn’t leave
and it doesn’t let me
let go.
But I wouldn’t if I could.
The knife is my souvenir,
A reminder you were here,
you existed,
and we breathed the same air.
The knife punctures my heart;
not to kill
but to immortalize
my love,
like a locket I’ll never lose.
The place, we call “home”
will never truly be home again
because when I show up
you’re not behind the door
anymore.
You’re not behind the door,
But you live behind my eyelids when I sleep,
Behind the cover of my journal,
within every creature I meet.
Every ray of sun
Every rainbow after rain
And every flower that blooms by the street.
The knife impales
But I carry it with me
And eternal pride, I bleed.
The pain a privilege
Proving that you lived,
And you lived
Your life
beside me.
